There is nothing more meaningful to me than someone telling me they are thinking of, missing, or remembering Ginny. What parents who have lost want more than anything is for their child to be remembered. I thought I would want to forget this whole painful experience, but that’s not the case. I don’t want to forget anything. I love her too much to forget anything.
Never be afraid to bring her up to me. Don’t be afraid to use her name. Call her Ginny, call her Virginia Hope, just please call her. You aren’t reminding me of something painful. You are reminding me of who I love. And I’m probably already thinking of her anyway.
I’m not sure what made us decide to share her sex and name to friends and family right when we found out. I think we were just eager to share her. We couldn’t keep her to ourselves. We wanted everyone to know her; I’m so glad we did. Daniel and I are blessed by friends who said we inspired them to share their baby’s name early. They want everyone to know their baby before birth the way they knew Ginny.
People knew her name and knew of her garden-themed nursery. Family and friends kept their eyes open at stores for felted veggies, a print of a little garden bunny, and a garland of carrots. As spring drew nearer, it became much easier to spot cute items. One of my favorites is the set of three pots my sister Keri bought her. The pots read “You” “Grow” “Girl”. It was too perfect for Keri to pass up. Things still catch my eye at the store – at first I would feel a sharp pang in my heart. Now I think of it as a little smile from Ginny.
Most all of my favorite pregnancy memories are of feeling Ginny move. Feeling that little flutter in the 2nd trimester. It was such a crazy feeling to know that there was a little person inside me with her own muscles and brain, moving independently from me. She was stretching, fidgeting, and turning on her own. It was mind-blowing to see those movements during ultrasounds. Is that really all happening inside me?
It was obvious when she developed the ability to hear. Any loud noise or music would make her move like crazy. I remember when we saw Fantastic Beasts in theaters. Ginny started flipping during a loud action scene. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud and tell Daniel right away. A couple weeks later we went to a Greek restaurant with friends. Festive music started playing and people got up to dance shoulder to shoulder. Ginny also started dancing! During doctor’s appointments, the sound of the doppler would startle her. I remember a doctor saying, “Hey baby girl, don’t kick the doctor!” The doctors would say she was very active and healthy to respond to the doppler so much.
Every time I felt Ginny hiccup (which was often), I would text Daniel. I’d type “Hiccups 🥰”, and Daniel would respond with a heart emoji. When he was home with us, I would grab his hand and place it on my belly. He smiled so big anytime he felt her. Sometimes we would fall asleep with his hand on my belly. Daniel would kiss us both goodbye in the morning, “Bye bye Ginny. I love you!” He wanted her to learn his voice.
I want to bottle up all those memories and carry them with me everywhere. I would give anything to carry Ginny in my belly for one more minute. I wish I had savored every single moment as if it was the last because eventually it was.
This makes me so grateful for the time I still have with others I love. I can still savor every moment with Daniel, my parents, my sisters, my in-laws, my friends. I plan on it. I plan on making as many memories as I can with everyone I love. In case I lose them or they lose me, we will always have those memories to hold.
Please feel free to share any memory you have of Ginny or someone else who is no longer here. I want to document as many of those special memories as we can!